RAISED IN A CHRISTIAN HOME

 

                        RAISED IN A CHRISTIAN HOME 
   I am writing this with the intention to address some of the struggles we parents have while attempting to raise our children to love and follow Jesus through this life amid all its pitfall, snares, intrigues, and still make it to heaven. 

 INDEX:
- WE CANNOT MAKE THE JUMP FOR THEM

- RASIED IN A CHRISTIAN HOME
- WHAT CAN GO WRONG
- SOME OF THEIR STRUGGLES

- ASUMPTION AND IGNORANCE -

1 - PRESUMPTOUSLY ASSUMING CONVERSION 
2 - EXPECTING THEM TO LIVE OUR DISCIPLINES
3 - EXPECTING THEM TO LIVE OUR CONVICTIONS
4 - TIMING AND APPLICATION

- WHAT NOW? 

a - ASK FORGIVENESS
b - LIVE THE LIFE
c - PRAY
d - THE HOUSE OF GOD
e - HARMONY
f - AVOIDING STRIFE

- CONCLUSION

 "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." NAS



“Even so, it is not the will of your Father which is in Heaven, that one of
these little ones should perish…For the Son of Man is come to save that which was lost.” Matthew 18:14, 11 KJV 

 WE CANNOT MAKE THE JUMP FOR THEM
 One area of great concern for parents, and apparently where we sometimes lose our children is in their leap from adolescence to adulthood. That is the point of transition when they leave the covering and shelter of home and venture out on their own. Typically they find themselves in a new environment with completely different acquaintances. This is usually in either college and university, or work. If they do not find for themselves Christian support of some kind they can be in great danger spiritually. For the Christian parents you watch and pray hoping that all your training, instruction, disciplines and prayers are sufficient. Most of all, you are hoping that they have actually found Jesus in their own lives.

 No one can live the life for another. Many a parent has tried with their children, but to know avail. Nor can we hide them form the realities of life, as much as we would like to. Instead it is our duty to, as best as we can, prepare them for what is up ahead, and equip them with all the necessary tools to enable them to make their journey through life successful. It is the same in the Lord. And as far as Christian parents go, we have the double responsibility, to help them be successful in their natural life, but also to help them be successful in their spiritual life, their walk with Jesus.  The goal for everyone in the end is to make it to Heaven, and that can only be accomplished through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one can come to the Father except through Me." Jerusalem Bible. My friends, the road is very narrow, but if we stay faithful to Jesus, we cannot miss it, Isaiah35:8-10.


RAISED IN A CHRISTIAN HOME

 Children raised in a Christian home face difficulties that non-Christian youth do not. In short, everyone must embrace the Cross of Christ. We embrace it and forsake the world (Galatians 6:14), and there is no shortcut for anyone. True there are huge advantages in many ways if a person is raised in a solid Christian home over someone who is not, but the road is not any easier. Lets look at some of their issues.

SOME OF THEIR STRUGGLES - Some children raised in a Christian home, because of the separate lifestyle and moral restrictions, tend to feel like they are missing out on 'all the fun,' to the point where they may feel cheated. Furthermore, when they have to behave differently from many or most of their worldly peers, they can feel embarrassed, humiliated, become a target for ridicule, and sometimes worst. Not only so, but if they are not spiritually awakened, especially Born Again, as Jesus said, then the spiritual things can feel very burdensome and even oppressive "because the carnal mind (mind set on the flesh) is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be." Romans 8:7, 'The natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness to him; neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." 1 Corinthians 2:14. Only a person with a genuine, personal, and intimate walk with Jesus, can find the Christian lifestyle joyful and fulfilling. For everyone else it is restrictive, unreasonable, and for the lawless, it is oppressive. Therefore, as parents we must be diligent in compensating, being very sensitive to each individual child, alert to their needs and tendencies, and be discerning as to where they are at. Most of all, we must seek the Lord's guidance for each child while upholding the household standards.

  Consider the children of Israel and their behaviour. Often we look with contempt on these people and despise their unfaithful behaviour toward the Almighty Who had done so many mighty wonders amongst them. But we must understand that they were not born again believers. Can you imagine taking an entire nation of unconverted sinners, giving them the Holy Laws of God and a multitude of strict religious regulations and rites for them to observe daily? How long would you expect before they would lose focus and interest, let alone rebel?

   I want to clarify here that God knew what He was doing, and that He did not make a mistake with the children of Israel. He was using them for our examples, and in so doing, worked things in, through, and for them that He had not done for any other people or nation, and they became His own inheritance.

 We, in earnest love and obedience to the Lord, attempt to raise up our children as the Scriptures say, "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." From their infancy  we raise them up praying with them, telling them about Jesus and the beautiful Bible stories, take them to church and so on. Then we are strict in their disciplines for obedience in our attempt to teach  them right from wrong, good and evil. As soon as possible we try to lead them through the sinner's prayer, and we should, in order to seal their faith and connection with Jesus. Hopefully, we even walk them through baptism. To top it all off, we try and keep them completely separate from the world and it ways so as not to defile them. To a certain extent, that is wise and proper as Christian parents, but what are some of the possible loop holes?

ASSUMPTION AND IGNORANCE - Not theirs, ours. .  At one point the Lord told me, regarding my sons, that they must find Him in their world...

 1-Presumptiously expecting conversion Just because we or someone led them through the sinners prayer, does not mean that they actually connected with Jesus. William Booth who raised eight children all serving the Lord said that we must look for that life changing transformation that comes through a genuine faith and revelation of Jesus (paraphrased). It is not a gradual thing, but that New Birth experience which can only be wrought by God. I personally have watched many a sinner go through the 'Sinner's Prayer'. I eventually learned to watch for the fruit of the change that takes place once a person repents and believes. Otherwise, if they did not connect we need to sow, fertilize, weed, and water the soil some more. So it is with children. Children, out of earnest sincerity and obedience they will follow their parents, and wholeheartedly so. But as they develop, and their own lives come into their hands, they will discover that trying to do and be something which they are not, they can no longer submit and comply to until they can fit it into their own life and their own discoveries. And definitely they will not if they have not actually connected with Jesus.  If they mechanically attempt to "be a Christian" , they can become like a Pharisee or religious hypocrite "having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof." 2 Timothy 3:5  All the while they may be whole-heartedly earnest. The best thing you can do is pray, inspire, encourage, and especially love them unconditionally waiting for their revelation from  Jesus. If you still have a voice they will listen to, gently instruct them.

2 -  Expecting them to live our disciplines which sometimes took us years to develop. Or we may have disciplines the Holy Spirit sovereignly worked into our lives in order to rescue us from bad or sinful habits. Our children may have a genuine faith and relationship with Jesus, yet it is our personal disciplines and walk that they have not yet attained to, and may never, nor actually may even need to. They are Jesus's children in the end, His design, for His purpose, and His glory. Just because you may have had a problem with something, does not mean that they will. On the other hand, they may have never been born again, never had the revelation of Jesus (although they may have been blessed by the teaching) and obediently gone though the motions ("Unless a man be born again he cannot see the Kingdom of God...unless a man is born of the water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the Kingdom of God." John 3) So your disciplines will be nigh impossible for them to attain to, nor will they even see the value or need as they get older, especially if they have limited knowledge of the Bible and not conviction of the Holy Spirit in that area.

3 - Expecting them to live up to our convictions Again, some of our convictions are not necessarily the will of God or the way of Christ for our Children. Let me give you an example from my own errors. When I turned to Jesus I dropped everything, especially secular music, and actually developed a hate for much of it. I refused to listen to any of it, nor did I allow any in our home. I did the same with most of television. Well as our older boys were growing up, they naturally took an interest in much of it. I reacted (again a very bad thing to do), and attacked with venom (also an extremely bad thing to do and a complete misrepresentation of Jesus). Now, in some of the music and shows, there was (and is) evil/sinful content, but how I handled their interest in some of it was all wrong. My mother gave me a verse years ago that continually haunted my legalistic attitude and ways, "Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled." Titus 1:15 Obviously I am not saying that we can embrace everything and cast aside all discernment, but what I needed to do was help them walk through it even as Jesus had to as He was growing up, "Therefore the Lord Himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call His name Immanuel. Butter and honey shall He eat, that He may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good. For before the Child shall know to refuse the evil, and choose the good,..."Isaiah 7:14-16

 Here the Lord Himself is showing us how to raise our children in a crooked and perverse world. We feed them the good food, and walk them through sorting out how to choose the good and reject the evil. Not all things in the world are evil, even if it is secular. Some we can and will even benefit from, and God will and can use everything for our benefit and His glory

  Now I do not agree with deliberating exposing them to questionable or sinful things. In one teaching I was under while working with youth, the statement they gave us was, "What parents allow in moderation, the children will take to extremes." So we must be very careful about how we do, or do not do things, and be led of the Lord in everything. Furthermore, every child is different, we must be so careful and discerning as to how to treat each child, prayerfully taking into consideration their individual make up. With all the humility and wisdom we can muster, we must help them find Jesus in their world, to not be afraid of it, but rather how to walk through it in Christ. 

4 - Timing and application This principal is also critical and we as parents and leaders must be careful and not be presumptuous with each of the children or youth in our care. Once again prayer and the leading of the Spirit of Jesus is so critical in making the right decisions for our children when expecting something from them. Now in regular Christian service, as a person matures, your ways, teachings, and methods may be completely appropriate, but where the youth are at, perhaps not. Remember when David was about to face Goliath, King Saul tried to suit him up with his armor. David replied that he did not want to use them because he had not yet tried them. He knew that should he confront the giant with equipment that he was not familiar with, it could cost him not only the battle, but his life. Notice that the Lord had already equipped David in his life and in his world as a shepherd for the battle using the tools he was familiar with - even though unrelated for the confrontation he was about to face. You may be amazingly surprised how well equipped your youth are to face and confront the Goliath's of their generation. That does not negate the value of the traditional methods later on. David, as a soldier in the Israelite army did need and use the traditional military equipment. As your children are growing, and as you are carefully raising them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, He is already preparing them for the temptations and battles they must face in their life and world.


WHAT NOW?

  Once we have done all that we can do, the right and the wrong, and our children are at an age where we must start stepping back to give them room to grow on their own, is there anything else we can do? Here are some suggestions if you haven't done so already: 

A - Ask forgiveness - First from the Lord for the errors you may have made in raising HIS children. Then make the needed changes which you are still able to carry out. Secondly; ask forgiveness from your children for areas you have failed them. Don't make promises that you cannot keep, nor fall into the trap of guilt offerings. Just do what is right before God with all your heart. True humility is so acceptable to all. This will help unshackle and heal them from past wounds that could hinder them from overcoming present or future challenges ,fears, doubts, and temptations

B - Live the life - A consistent godly lifestyle is hard to refute, especially if someone is doubtful or rebellious. "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect ,keeping  a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." 1 Peter 3:15-16 NIV

  I lived for eight years in a church serving as a caretaker. At the opposite end was the parsonage where the senior pastor and his wife lived. I would eat with them at least once a week, and would work with him regularly, though not always. I must say, that Pastor Bergman, my true father in the faith, was a most powerful and godly example. I, on the other hand, acted like a rebellious teenager.  He was always the same godly person anytime of the day or night with everyone or by himself. What you saw of him on Sunday morning is what you would run into  at any other time. He loved Jesus and it flowed out of Him like a river. He would regularly sing and praise the Lord , talk of His love, and speak of His wonders. His wife was much the same. Right up until they left I had very rebellious attitudes, but when he left I began to realize that I had to step up to the plate and be genuinely responsible. Now I did not feel that the Lord had called me to be a pastor, nor did I have the desire to be, but I knew that the Gospel work must not languish, and that I should do my part in helping out which ever way I could. You may be surprised at how your seemingly apathetic or rebellious youth will step up to the plate as you step out of the way. You have no idea how much they are watching you, believing you, and hoping with all their heart that your Gospel is real, worth living for, and surrendering all for.

C - PRAY! This is a given and should actually be first. No doubt, if you are a serious Christian parent, you have been all along. Prayer and fervent prayer are indispensable for all Christian activities and responsibilities, and nothing can stop us from praying. Jesus told Peter about the temptation that Peter was about to face - Satan had desired to sift him as wheat, but  Jesus said that He prayed for Peter that his faith would not fail. Luke 22:31-32 Here we see the perfect application of prayer, the utter importance and effectiveness of prayer, and how critical it is for the success of others. Again, notice how that there are times that everyone has to go through their own battles basically alone, still we need not be just spectators, but can be actively involved in their support and success though only God may Know. Who has been praying for you?

D - THE HOUSE OF GOD -

 "But if I tarry long, that you may know how you ought to behave  yourself in the HOUSE OF GOD, which is the CHURCH of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth." 1 Timothy 3:15 "The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon; planted in the HOUSE of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh (full of sap) and green, proclaiming, 'The Lord is upright; He is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in Him.'" Psalm 92:12-15

 This is of huge importance, so much so that the enemy works overtime to keep God's people from fellowshipping, from community, from worshiping and working together, from Biblical and godly authority, and faithfulness. Most certainly there have been reason for people to pull away. Careless wounds, conflicts, leadership abuse or neglect, and so on. Nevertheless, there are good Church fellowships, excellent pastors and leadership, though none are flawless; but then, neither are any of us. Over the years I have observed and rarely have I found, except for some very mature disciples of Jesus, a healthy solid Christian that isn't a faithful attendant of some fellowship. Most who do not attend regularly are often riddled with bitterness, resentment, or with rebellious attitudes that they have never been able to overcome. "If we walk in the Light, as He is in the Light, the we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son, cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7.
  It is not that all the churches are super, but perhaps the meek, tender, and faithful attitude of the believer is where the blessing is Psalm 133. If we fear God and keep His commands, and specifically the instructions and directives of the New testament, He honors our faith/obedience.

 This is a big topic, but for now I wish to emphasize that one of the best things a parent can do for their children is be a faithful attendant of a church, supporting in whatever capacity they can, and not speaking negatively of the church or leadership in front of the children. There are obviously concerns that the parents need to discuss, and precautions we need to take, especially in order to keep a healthy balance for the family and each member in particular, yet in the fear or the Lord. Nor do we put the Churches needs ahead of your spouse's or the children's, instead serve where there can be a healthy harmony.

 WHY ELSE THE STRONG EMPHASIS? Not only do the Scriptures teach the importance and Jesus Himself stressed it, but where else in the world, outside of personal and family devotions, can a person find faith support and building in their daily life in this world other than from the fellowship of other followers of Jesus. It is so important that in persecuted countries, Christians have and still do risk their lives to gather with other believers to worship, share, and pray together. May this understanding be etched into the heart and mind of every believer, young and old. Far too many young Christians and New Believers have ventured out into this world and not made the importance of fellowship and church attendance a priority, and thereby have fallen into the clutches of the world and its godless ways. Some never return! REMEMBER CHILDREN, the world, your flesh, and the devil, fully and relentlessly oppose your pursuit of faith in Jesus. There will always be practical excuses and pressing needs, but you must make it a priority regarding your responsibility for your spiritual welfare and your eternal soul. EVERYTHING ELSE WILL PASS AWAY! The Bible says, "...earnestly contend/fight for the faith..."  Jude 3:3

HARMONY - This is another area of huge importance for the spiritual development and stability for your children. If the parents are not in agreement regarding the standards and commitments to the things of God, do not expect the children to show much stability or commitment. Confusion and doubt work together. In the fear of the Lord, parents please work together and be in agreement concerning following Jesus and serving in the Kingdom of God, and how you intend to so raise your children. "I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought." 1: Corinthians 1:10 NAS
 
AVOIDINNG STRIFE - Strife amongst believers and within the Church will be carried over into the home. You can be sure that your children are watching and it will undermine all the Gospel and faith you have been trying to guide them in. Pure faith in Jesus Christ is only truly demonstrated in genuine love and humility.

CONCLUSION - When flying in an airplane we are instructed, if the cabin pressure drops, to first mask up yourself, and then mask up the person(s) in your care. It is the same in the Lord. If you are not strong in your walk with Jesus, do not expect your children to excel you. God holds us responsible to be at our best for Him, and for everyone else in our care. "Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things; for as you do this  you will insure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you." 1 Timothy 5:16 NIV