17-Biblical Anger Management - C Factors 4- Hurts

 

                                                               4 -HURTS-

Matthew 5:21-24

  Hurts are another major source that incites anger. In order to break the power of anger, hatred, and violence, these must be identified and healed through the counsel of God’s Word and under the guidance of His Holy Spirit. Like physical hurts, emotional hurts are unavoidable (Matthew 18:7), but also need healing and can be healed. Unhealed and improperly healed hurts in the heart and soul can fester and get infected (metaphorically speaking) just the same as physical hurts. In fact, some physical hurts can cause inner hurts as well - as in abuse. Therefore all hurts must be brought before the Lord to receive their proper healing. The devil has his ways of healing in order to get into or maintain control of the situation. Remember, he comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10), even though his remedies may sound, look, and even feel good, and they usually appeal to the injustice or sense of injustice done to you. His objective is to feed anger, hate, bitterness, self-pity, revenge, distrust, discouragement, discord, … with destruction as the ultimate end. Let us take all our hurts to our Loving Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ His Son our Savior for our healing and help.

REMEMBER- anger is often the natural reaction to hurts.

 

CATEGORY 1                                - YOU ARE HURT-

CAUSES: Conflicts, unprovoked attacks, injustices, ignorance, carelessness, misjudging, over correct-

                  ting (a common fault with authorities).

ACTION STEP #1 - RUN TO GOD, UNCOVER THE WOUND AND ASK HIM

                               HELP YOU AND HEAL YOU.

                          STOP- CONSIDER- DECIDE- DO SO NOW!

                            2 – IDENTIFY AND ACKNOWLEDGE- determine truthfully

                                why and how you are hurt. Examine the cause and the

                                 situation as objectively as you can before God to determine

                                your responsibility in the circumstance. This is absolutely

                                necessary to identify where the guilt lies, to what extent and

                                ultimately the best and most proper way to deal with it. Our

                                perspective, feelings and opinions are to be fully subject to

                                the counsel of God’s Word if resolves are to be complete.

                             3 – FORGIVE WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND UNCONDITION-

                                 ALLY- THIS IS GOD’S NON NEGOTIABLE COMMAND

                                “Forgive and you shall be forgiven.” Luke 6:37.

“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’” Luke 23:34

This may seem like a hard saying, but there will be no real healing and deliverance

unless this condition is met from the heart before the Lord. Matthew 18:35.

Dear friends, there are times when it was totally not your fault and you happened to be the victim, as in child abuse; however, God still requires it for your healing and salvation, and to keep the devil from maintaining influence. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 and He will supply the grace to do that which is seemingly impossible for you- He loves you so much!

 The other aspect that we must realize is that there are times and occasions where we may have been hurt and we may have been, even unwittingly, responsible for a part of the problem, ie; going somewhere where we shouldn’t have, saying or doing something we shouldn’t have, … .   Although these may never be an excuse for someone doing you wrong, you may have acted in disobedience to God. Consequently, before He can deal with someone else, you may have to make it right with Him. The nation of Israel’s history is full of such incidents. “Having a readiness to avenge all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.” 2 Cor. 10:6

Furthermore, if we are able to humble ourselves even further and examine situations more openly and objectively, we may see that people who hurt us were merely reacting to our behaviors and treatments of them. If we can see these and acknowledge them you may find the object of our pain much easier to forgive and release. 

STOP! – CONSIDER AND EXAMINE CAREFULLY AND PRAYERFULLY

 

                           4 – BEGIN THE HEALING PROCESS

a.       Determine if and where you yourself may be guilty and ask God to forgive you and help you make it right if possible, if necessary, and if best.

 

  CAUTION! Do not assume guilt or responsibility unless God’s Word or He by His Holy Spirit indicates it.

b.      Ask the  Lord to show you the other party’s perspective

and give you understanding of their situation. As one man said, “It is hard to not forgive someone who you understand.”

NOTE – You must assume the responsibility to clear it up, even if it seems one sided! “Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.” Matthew 5:9 It is your opportunity and advantage.

c.       Determine what is your God-given responsibility to do after you have forgiven them, if any. Jesus instructs us to

Confront those who hurt us in certain circumstances.

“ If your brother sins against you, go to him and show him his fault,…” Matthew 18:15-17 A lot of hurts, anger, and bitterness, remain because we neglect this step.

d.      Pray for those who hurt you so that you can he healed, and continue to forgive them as often as necessary. Job 42:10, Matthew 18:21-35.

e.       Cancel all debts and begin with a new slate. Matthew 6:12 Forget those things that are behind and continue on in the grace of God. Philippians 3:13

A-Z.  AS IN ALL THESE THINGS, GO TO JESUS AND GET FROM GOD WHAT ONLY HE CAN DO, FOR WITHOUT HIM WE CAN DO NOTHING!!!

                                        STOP- CONSIDER- DECIDE- DO

CAUTIONARY NOTE – Please exercise caution and wisdom in attempting reconciling if that means going back to an old setting or relationship that wasn’t right before God in the first place. Don’t trust your heart! Seek out good Godly counsel.

 

                                             IF THE HURTS DON’T LEAVE

a.    Make sure that you have accurately identified the problem and the source.

b.   Make sure that you have forgiven from the heart and are maintaining it.

c.    Have you clearly identified and repented of your guilt and sin?

d.   Have you done all that the Lord requires of you in the healing process? This includes loving and praying for them.

e.    Determine if what is hurting is not pride. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately

wicked; who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9 Your pride will not want to let it go.

f.     Determine if it is not a temptation of the devil to cause you to not believe and fall from God’s

Grace. Hebrews 12:15. 

H – There are times that hurts which are the product of abuse/unjust treatment, cause us to believe lies about ourselves. Over time we may consider them true and consequently live in shame, guilt and defeat because of them. WHAT DOES GOD’S WORD HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THESE THINGS? THAT IS THE TRUTH, AND THAT IS WHAT YOU MUST BELIEVE TO BE HEALED!!!! All other thoughts are lies of the devil to tear us down, destroy us, and keep us from becoming who Christ Jesus called us to be.

 

 NOTE – Sometimes scars remain and phantom pains reoccur which may serve as reminders, but we must stand on the Truth of God’s Word that we are cleansed, healed and forgiven, through the sufferings, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Nor will you change from your stand of forgiving unconditionally. This is not denial, the proof being that you will experience full faith!

g.      Make sure that you receive your healing from God. Luke 18:1-8. “Ask, and you shall receive.”

 

 

CATEGORY 2             -VICTIMS AND TRAUMATIC EXPOSURE-

“…His face was so marred more than any man, and His form more than the sons of men. … He was oppressed and afflicted…He was brought as a lamb to the slaughter…He was cut off out of the land of the living…(But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him,; and with His stripes we are healed.)…because He had done no violence, neither was any deceit in His mouth.” Isaiah 52:14,

53:5-9.  “For dogs have compassed Me: the assembly of the wicked have enclosed Me, they pierced my hands and my feet. I May tell all my bones: they look and stare upon Me.” Psalm 22:16-17.

 

EXAMPLES:  Abuse, especially childhood abuse, rape, accidents, severe exposures to dangerous

                        situations and harsh conditions….

  Being a target of people or circumstances where an unprovoked or an overpowering invasion on your physical and/or emotional being was made and there was no defense, or whatever effort was made was over-ridden or crushed, can leave a person’s character and well- being sacred and or damaged. In many instances this may have been an open door for demonic influence, especially in the instances of abuse.

 

SYMPTOMS: Damaged emotions = unable to handle adversity, pressure, opposition, criticism…

                                         -    unreasonable and uncontrolled reactions,

                                          -   haunted by sights, sounds, memories, feelings that bring overwhelming

                                              sense of fear, insecurity, terror, horror, panic, desperation, helplessness

                                          -     guilt, shame, inferiority, broken heartedness, hate, rage.

 

                         GOOD NEWS! THERE IS HELP AND HEALING!

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor: He has sent Me to heal the broken-hearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, and to set at liberty them that are bruised,” Luke 4:18

 

ACTION STEP – 1. Release GOD from all accusation that He had done you wrong and was

                                  responsible or hates you. “…for the Son of Man is not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.” Luke 9: 56. “The thief comes not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I (Jesus) am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10.

“Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about , seeking whom he may devour:” 1 Peter 5:8.

                              We need to realize that God is not our Enemy, but the devil is out to destroy

                               and kill us. Certain traumatic instances may have been a natural disaster, or

                               the handy work of human folly or error.

                              

                                     STOP – CONSIDER – RELEASE AND EMBRACE HIM!

 

2.      Run to Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior for help and healing!!!

Tell Him what happened, how you are hurt (He knows everything, and loves you so much, but He cannot do anything until you ask Him). Psalm 18:1-3

Psalm 147:3,Luke 4:18-19

3.      Forgive anyone who may have been responsible for hurting you or failing

you. Again, this is an absolute non- negotiable that God requires us, but also will help us as we ask Him and abide in Him. “Then said Jesus, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do’.” Luke 23:34 , “And they stoned Stephen,… And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, ‘Lord, lay not this sin to their charge’. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.” Acts 7:59-60.

4.      Learn to run to Him and hide in Him. Psalm 18:1-6, Psalm 56:3-4,

Psalm 91, Proverbs 18:10,  Psalm 23.

Develop a prayer life and meditate on the Word of God, and learn to praise

and worship Him at all times.

5.      Find good fellowship. Where two or more are gathered in Jesus Name there He is in the midst. God made us social creatures and regularly meeting with other believers in Christ can be wonderfully refreshing and encouraging.

6.      Do not assume guilt!!! The devil wants to keep hurting you, to break you, and to crush you. “Who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifies.” Romans 8:33, “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in Me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18:6

NOTE- Remember – We are not just physical beings, but we are spirits that have a soul and live in a body,  Prov. 18:14, 1 Cor.6:17, 1Thes.5:23, Heb12:23  .What we are saying is that dealing with people who have been seriously wounded will not require mere intellect and reasoning to work through the pain and damage. These may help, but a healing touch is required in the innermost being of the individual. Healings come from God in different ways, but all are operated by and received by faith in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ by the power of His Holy Spirit. Matthew 15:21-28, Luke 7:1-10. Sometimes we need more than one touch from the Lord to complete our healing. Mark 8:22-25. There are also may be times that there may be certain things the Lord may leave 2 Cor. 12:8-10.

But when the Lord is finished with you, you will be well!

 

TEACHERS NOTE – For individuals that have been exposed to abuse and trauma there is also the likely possibility of demonic torment. Some symptoms may be excessive and unreasonable fears, paranoia, multiple personalities, hearing voices, tormenting thoughts and dreams, depression, panic, hallucinating without using any substances, abnormal/perverse or excessive urges or behavior….

-Should you be confronted with these symptoms the ministry of Deliverance should be considered. However this must carried out only under the direction of the Holy Spirit. The gifts of the word of knowledge and or the discerning of spirits should be operating. Experience helps if available. Please refer to the section on “ Confronting Demonic Forces.” Pg. 55

  As in everything, the wounded person must be led/ brought to the Lord Jesus Christ so that they will look to Him for their help and healing, and not be depending solely on human assistance: however, be sure that you do all that the Lord requires you do and not be premature or presumptuous by leaving business unattended or leaving before the Holy Spirit wants you to.

“Then answered Jesus and said unto them, ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do: for what thing so ever He does, these also doeth the Son likewise.’” John5:19

“O Lord my God, I cried unto You, and You have healed me!” Psalm 30:2

NOTE - NOTE – Again, there may be a tendency to believe horrible things about themselves. It is imperative they are reassured the truth about themselves (compassionately) from what God our Loving Heavenly Father says about them; they are loved,  they are beautiful, they are precious, they are forgiven, they are His Children…