23-Biblical Anger Management - C Factors 10-Rejection

 

10 - REJECTION

 

 1-  Confront Rejection. Rejection can be so brutal and often lands on

   the most undeserving and helpless – children- leaving some of the most damaging results; inability to handle correction, discipline, opposition, much adversity, rebuke, failure. Consequently these render us susceptible to emotional and mental break down, having a bad self-image, easily discouraged, excessive shyness, severe lack of self-confidence and personal value, easy to give up, draw back, hide, panic….

 To complicate matters in this state we can easily surrender ourselves to external comforts like drugs and alcohol in order to find some form of escape and comfort. The worst things about these are, not only are they sin and lead to death, but they also open us up to demonic influences. The spiral is downhill from there. YOU NEED JESUS NOW!!!

 

ACTION STEP – Run to Jesus and surrender your life to Him immediately!

                                STOP-DO SO NOW!   THIS IS FOR SALVATION AND COMFORT

     2-Cry out to Him-“This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, and saved him  out of all his troubles.” Psalm 34:6,

“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.” Psalm 27:10

 We must realize that it is presumptuous to assume that by simply reasoning our way through certain events in our lives will resolve the problems they created. Emotional wounds, like physical wounds, need to be healed. Dispensing forgiveness, understanding, and truth are crucial, and yet sometimes even that is not sufficient. We need a healing touch from the Lord, and perhaps even deliverance. Mary Magdalene needed to be delivered of 7 devils. Luke 8:2. A healing touch from the Lord is what we often need when we are unjustly treated. “He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

                                             DETERMINE THE TRUTH

   3- In your heart before the Lord, go back to the source of your hurts and rejection.

                               Determine who and what the real source of the attack was from, as well as what is/are the real issues. You may need to do this with a godly trusted counsellor present, but                           most certainly in the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit. John 14:16. Review the events carefully in the fear of God and in the faith and love which are in are in Christ Jesus so that you will be able to see in the safety and truth of His presence. By the grace of God you may be amazed that some of the abuse or attacks are coming through the person who is doing it without realizing what they are doing. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do!” Luke 23:34. When we follow Jesus’ instruction to confront them they may be shocked to realize what they have done or are doing. Matthew 18:15-17, giving them a chance to repent, and yourself a chance to be healed. This will not likely make it any less hurtful initially however. Remember that the devil is behind every evil work that steals, kills, and destroys, John 10:10 and do not receive anything from him. If we have done wrong we do need to repent before God, but the issue is cleansed at that point.

 ACCUSATIONS AGAINST YOU CAUSING REJECTION - If there is any truth to accusations against your behavior, CONSIDER AND EXAMINE, and deal with them as best as you can with all your heart especially if they are displeasing to God. Commit your faults and weaknesses to God seeking His mercy and grace Hebrews 4:16 not as an excuse, but rather as for the help you will likely need to change. If you have suffered rejection because of some of the things you have done, you may need to go and humble yourself before those you hurt, confess your fault(s) and ask for their forgiveness. People’s treatment of us is often a reaction to our behavior, whether we meant harm or not, it could have hurt or at least troubled them.

REMEMBER God rejected Cain and King Saul and they became depressed, yet never repented. They chose rather to feel sorry for themselves and afflicted others instead. What is the real reason for the rejection you suffered? On the other hand, if you were rejected as a child or as a newcomer of some kind, it is not likely your fault, and the Lord, your Loving Heavenly Father wants to heal you and set you free!!! He so Loves you!

                          4- Apply to yourself God’s Word in every area where you have been rejected and hurt

                              and stand on His promises and views of you as His beloved child. Galatians 2:20

                              John 3:16, Romans 8:33-39…

 5-When an attack comes; A- As a feeling: 1-Take it to Jesus immediately! Psalm

                              18:16-19, 46:1. He is our Refuge, Fortress and our Ever

Present Help in time of need, our Comforter. When we seek our comfort in Him, He shelters us from the overwhelming thoughts and feelings that can spiral into unmanageable despair, hurt, humiliation, shame, grief, bitterness, and even hate.

Beware of SELF-DEVALUATION! It is a LIE.

                                        2- Forgive Immediately as your step of faith, without which there will be no deliverance. God will help you. Matthew 6:14-15

                                        3- Take to heart God’s Word concerning you and what He has to say about you and that particular circumstance. The truth sets us free. John 8:32. Being able to face the truth about yourself in accordance to God’s Grace will procure for you an incredible relief:

      a. Concerning our Frailty: When we can recognize and acknowledge our frailty and weaknesses before God our Creator and accept His grace in our lives, we can rejoice and He gets the Glory! 2Corinthians 12:8-10 More than that, man’s opinions and criticisms of us become far less important to us. We also become less likely to compare ourselves with others, which is a trap, and more concerned about being pleasing to God our Heavenly Father, the Judge of us all. 1Corinthians 4:3-4, 2Corinthians 10:12 NOTE: Here we by no means intend to use this as an excuse for irresponsible or undisciplined behavior which deserves rebuke and correction, and to this we must always be alert and ready to pursue character and behavior improvement.

      b. Concerning our Guilt: We must ever be ready to acknowledge our guilt and errors in any and every situation, especially before the Lord, since it is a constant problem with every human alive. That is why we need the Savior! But oh the liberty that His cleansing brings!!! Proverbs 28:13, 1John 1:9, 1John 3:20-21, 2Cor.7:11 However, when we have….

                                   … 4- DO NOT AGREE with any accusations in your heart. If you have genuinely repented before God of any guilt you are forgiven and cleansed 1John 1:9, Romans 8:33-34. Tormenting thoughts and feelings are demonically inspired and if we allow them into our mind and heart by any agreement or self- pity, they will destroy us. We cannot give him/devil a foothold. He is a liar and a murder John 8:44, who comes to steal, kill, and to destroy, John 10:10, and he is the accuser of the brethren and a deceiver. Revelation 12:9-10.  You are in a war and he is your enemy who is trying to destroy you. But, “Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.” 1John 4:4. The devil’s goal is to devalue you in your eyes so that you will despair and lose hope. Then he will try and come in for the kill, 2 Corinthians 7:9-10. At this point we must learn to differentiate between conviction from the Holy Spirit (John 16;8) and the condemnation from the devil which leaves no hope. “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.” “Who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifies. Who is he that condemns? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.” Romans 8:33-34,

2 Corinthians 7:10-11

           c. Realize and Acknowledge your God Given Value!!!

We must believe and embrace His Holy Word!!!!!!        

The truth that you must never forget is that you are created in the image of God Almighty the Creator of the universe, and we are His sons and daughters whom He loves and His Son died for. We can hardly fathom how important we are to God and how much He loves us. Any thought less than that is a lie from the pit of hell. REPENT OF IT IMMEDIATELY and believe His love!!!!

“Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us, that we should be called the sons of God.” 1John 3:1, John 3:16, Galatians 2:20, Romans 8:35-39

 

                                           5- Fill yourself with His unfathomable love. Where His love is, He is, and there is perfect peace, joy and comfort. Then  learn to live there. 1John 4:16-18.

                                           6- Wage War against Unbelief and Ungodly Thoughts!! Our thinking process and what we accept will determine the direction we will go. Anything that will cause us to disagree with the Word of God, or try to destroy us or anyone else is an enemy and must be treated as such. If it comes as thoughts and feelings you must break any agreement with them and flee from them, “…whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8.

 

B- An Attack as an Offensive Situation- 1- Predetermine these. Jesus said that offenses will come, so we must live prepared. The worst are through sources that we are most vulnerable to. Consequently we are more susceptible to great hurt. These wounds if we receive them can be totally devastating to our character and wellbeing. (that is why we take them to Jesus for healing, deliverance and help). The other aspect we must realize is that the persons hurting us are also being used by the devil and may very well totally ignorant of the damage and wounding they are causing. Understanding this may help you forgive them, yet likely it will not reduce the pain at all.

                           A- Hide in Jesus Immediately and ask Him in your heart to help and protect you.1Peter 4:19, Psalm 32:5-7

                           B- Avoid any retaliation. This should help shorten and lessen the harmful attack. 1Peter 3:9

                           C- Do not agree with or receive any accusations. There will be time to deal with any issues latter, but under attack is not the time for complex reasoning or clear perspective. Once we agree or accept something it will be absorbed more readily in us. “Reckless words pierce like a sword.” Proverbs

                           D- Ask the Lord to show you what to do. While under attack the Lord may move on you to do or say something that may diffuse the situation. But beware that it is of Him, then leave in you can.

                           E- Separate the person(s) from the behavior. This will help you in the forgiveness process and enable you to see or examine the issue(s), accusations more objectively.

                           F- Review the issues. After the crisis is over, before God Almighty, your Heavenly Father, and in the light of His Word, determine what is true and what is false, and to what extent. Confront yourself in what is true in the appropriate manner and discard the false. You may need or want a trusted loved one who can help you with this.

NOTE: There may arise a situation that is less than ideal and you may not be able to deal with it in a

              simple or appropriate manner. God by His Holy Spirit will help you and guide you for each

              situation. Just trust Him and abide in Him, and He will be faithful!!!! He LOVES YOU SO

              MUCH!!

                           Are you rejected of men, maybe, BUT NOW IN CHRIST JESUS,

                                  “HE HAS MADE US ACCEPTED IN THE BELOVED.” Ephesians 1:6

                                                 No one can ever be in a better place!

 

 

 

                                           DEPRESSION IN THE DANGER ZONE

                                               -HOPELESSNESS AND DISPAIR

                                                     -HATE AND REVENGE-

 IN CHRIST JESUS THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!!! “And now abide, faith, hope, love,” 1Cor 13:13

 Remember that hopelessness is an indication of an (assumed) dead end. In Jesus Christ there is no such thing except for our sins and some of our behaviors.

 Symptoms: Any sign of depression is a warning and must be tended to immediately: however when it becomes a constant where one is unable to shake it, lose control of your thoughts, hope, belief in any good, and the associated feelings are dominating to where you are beginning to feel hopeless, despair, panic. Where rational thought and judgement are starting to give way to any form of wrong, you are in the danger zone and any decision you make other than a cry for help will likely be a grievous regret!!!

Hopelessness and despair are deadly enemies that will kill and will latch themselves on to depression at the first opportunity with the objective of complete destruction.

                     ACTION STEPS   1- Run to Jesus immediately! At the first sign of depression take it  to the Lord and ask Him to help and deliver you.

                                                     2- Tackle whatever the causes are that are in your power to do so: Thoughts, behaviors, attitudes, or lifestyles that are bringing it about must be identified and rectified or repented of immediately!

                                               3- Implement the weapons/tools God gave us for fighting

                                        depression: Hope, Faith/Trust in Him, Keeping our mind stayed the Lord.

“Why are you cast down, oh my soul, and why are you disquieted within you? Hope thou in God Who is the Help of you your countenance and your peace.” Psalm 43:5

“Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusteth in thee.”

Isaiah 26:3.  Depression is an ancient problem and even more ancient are His solutions.

 

 Depression out of control can be most destructive as we all know, but God our Heavenly Father has, as with every other problem we face in life, made provisions and safeguards available to us so that we can overcome every foe to our being, 2Peter 1:3-4.Unfortunately there are few shortcuts to the basics of faith, discipline, and obedience, which are critical to our physical, emotional, and spiritual survival. Philippians 4:13, Hebrews 3:19, Proverbs 5:23, Hebrews 5:8

  To just quickly mention some natural safeguards available to us (sadly not to all) are; a stable home life, good relationships, balanced schedules and healthy habits (eating, sleeping, exercise, relaxing), busy/ occupied… Aside from these there are safeguards that we need to implement ourselves not to replace the other but rather to compliment and fortify, since life’s conditions are rarely ideal by our understanding.

 1-The most important is being in right relationship with God our Heavenly Father through faith in His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. In Him are all the promises of God are: “yes and amen”, as well as all His provisions. 1Corinthians 1:20, 1 Peter 3:1-9.

2- Having a healthy prayer life and Bible devotion. Luke 18:1, Joshua 1:8

3- Abide in faith, hope, and love. 1 Corinthians 13

4- Wholesome fellowship. 1Corinthians 15:33

5- Being subject to authority, especially godly authority: Hebrews 13:17

6- Heeding sound Biblical discipline and teaching. Proverbs 19:27

7- Governing your thoughts, feelings, beliefs/agreements. Philippians 4:8

                         Good News!!! “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord

                                                            shall be saved.” Romans 10:13

: Depression is a battle that can be fought successfully. “The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations. And every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians10:5-6.

                        1: By submitting to God and resisting the devil. James 4:7

a.      By believing His Word concerning His love, mercy and grace for you.

b.      By repenting when and where we know His will requires it. 2 Corinthians 7:10.

c.       By avoiding bad associations and behaviors.

d.      By exercising thankfulness- Ephesians 5:20, 1 Thessalonians 5:18

e.       By always taking your fears, doubts, hurts to Him. “Casting all your cares upon Him,

for he cares for you.” 1Peter 5:7

“When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.” Isaiah 59:19.

WHAT THEN – Live a daily life of faith and love in Jesus (that takes whole-hearted effort). You

                             can do it!

 

                                                     HATE AND REVENGE

  Other possible reactions to rejection are HATE and REVENGE. Depending on the type of character the rejection affects, and especially depending on the type of influences and environment they may be in, hate and even revenge may be their reaction of choice. THIS IS DEADLY AT SO MANY LEVELS. It is destructive to the individual, and possibly harmful to others. Dear friends, if you are facing the hurts and lies of rejection and you are feeling tempted to respond by hate, and maybe revenge, PLEASE FLEE TO JESUS!!! Cry out to GOD our Heavenly Father for help, mercy and grace.

                                                        DISARM YOURSELF!!!

 

1                  DO NOT TAKE TO HEART THE OFFENSE, in spite of the hurt. Clear the situation!

                                                                         As hard as this sounds, it will help keep the hurt and

                                                                         offense from festering and deepening the wound.

                                                                             You will need the grace of God for this. Ecc.7:21-22

 

3                     FORGIVE –                          “Forgive, as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven           

                                                                            you.” Ephesians 4:32 This is God’s requirement,

                                                                       which is also for our benefit and help.

 

4                     DO NO AGREE WITH EVIL THOUGHTS – “Love thinks no evil.1Cor 13:5

                                            This is imperative to closing the door to the devil’s

                                             influence, and further deepening the offense/wound.

 

                    LEVELING THE GROUND

 

            

1                  TAKE IT TO JESUS                      Talk to Him about what happened, how you feel, and

                                                                         ask Him to help you, heal you, guide you into the truth.

 

2                  EXAMINE ALL THE FACTS – What was said, what was done, and consider the source.

                                                                           What is the truth, about them, and about you?

                                                                            What does God’s Word the Bible say about all of it?

 

3-                  TALK TO AN UNBIAS THIRD PARTY – Someone who is trustworthy and will tell

                                                                            you what you need to hear, not just what you want to

                                                                       hear, can cast great light on you situation. If James 5:16

                                                                        rejection of this kind if it is  problem, there

                                                                        is a good chance that something may need fixing in

                                                                        you. It may be a thinking or processing issue, and or

                                                                        a behavioral issue. If it is not physically obvious it

                                                                        may be an attitude or behavior that you do not

                                                                        recognize or acknowledge, but is burdensome to others.

                                                                        If more than one person has said the same thing to you

                                                                      or about you, you need to take serious notice. Acts 17:30

4                      TAKE INVENTORY AND MAKE CHANGES WHERE POSSIBLE – CAUTION

                                                     Haggai 1:7 Make changes as the Bible directs and where possible.

                                                                       If it is a habit, the Lord can help you with that. If it a

                                                                       behavior issue, you will need His help too, but if it is

                                                                       the issue of someone’s prejudice, that is up to them.

                                                                       Your duty is to forgive, love, and pray for them.

 

                                           PREPARATIONS FOR CHANGE

1 – Start with – ‘Between you and Jesus’. Ask Him for help, follow the Scriptures and take it to prayer.

2 -  Do what you know you can do regarding this – what is your God given responsibility, but      

      but fully rely on Him.

3 -  Be open to rebuke and the correction of others, but be careful who and what you listen to.

4 -  Don’t make promises you can’t keep, and do not put too much expectation on others. Save

       yourself from the heartache.

5 -  BE TEACHABLE AND CORRECTABLE, TAKE UP YOUR CROSS AND FOLLOW

                                                            JESUS!

               THIS ISSUE IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS. TREAT IT AS SUCH.  TALK TO 

                SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP.