26- Biblical Anger Management- C Factors-13-Frustrations...

 

 

 

          

 13-FRUSTRATIONS-AGGRAVATIONS- LET DOWNS- FAILURES-DISAPPOINTMENTS

  

“And Ahab came into his house heavy and displeased because of the word which Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him: for he had said, ‘I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.’ And he laid him down upon his bed, turned away his face, and would not eat.” 1Kings 21:1-7

 

Walls to success, barriers to achievement, hindrances to goals and desires, interference on duty and concerns, hopes differed, foolishness… – welcome to life! 

 Frustrations and aggravations… are some of anger’s most common and familiar breeding ground, and seemingly most innocent and justifiable; however, these reasons are no less excusable nor less potentially dangerous. Another danger with tolerating or justifying frustrations and aggravations for attacking their supposed related causes or sources is, should there be added stress pressures, physical ailments and fatigue, especially over long periods of time, the build-up of tension released can explode in volcanic proportions leaving serious devastation which likely could have been fully avoided.  We realize that we must not to get angry at things that frustrate and aggravate us, so we tend to try to control the external stimuli rather than controlling our internal spirit and flesh. Consequently satisfaction and good behavior will depend on our circumstances and environment rather than our own perspective, attitude, and discipline. We shift the blame and the responsibility for our actions on others and or circumstances that provoked our anger. Furthermore you are giving place to the devil wherein everyone involved may get hurt.” Ephesians 4:26-27. There may be good reason to be angry, but as the scripture says, “ a man who does not rule over his own spirit is like a city whose walls are broken down.” and that is our responsibility.

 

 God’s Word leaves little tolerance for this behavior, is explicit about its folly, and demands its control. Having received the Holy Spirit in our lives at new birth leaves us no excuse to allow such behavior since one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control/temperance Galatians 5:3.

“...a fool’s wrath is known at once.” Proverbs

“Be not hasty in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9

“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32

“He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.” Proverbs 14: 29.

 

Examining our Perspectives

Frustrations and aggravations will come without doubt. How we handle them will determine our reactions and the outcome, and how we regard them likely has the greatest influence as to our reactions.

Should we have already shown success in repenting of and changing our behaviors, growing in faith and self-discipline (or Holy Ghost discipline), our continued angry reactions to frustrations and aggravations will not only be proportionate to our maturity, but also to our perception of the seriousness of the frustration or aggravation. Remember that anger is a form of defense and leveler (helps bring attention to our cause, rights and interests), whether intentional or not.

                                            -Confronting Your Reactions -

                                 Expose and Disarm  - Stop - Consider - Decide

A. Humble Yourself. Open your heart and mind to Jesus. Allow the truth of His Word and the working of His Holy Spirit to challenge your perspectives, values, and behaviors.

B. Humble Yourself. Listen with an open heart to the criticism and

    complaints of others - even the ones that sound unreasonable and

     unfair.

“Out of the mouth of two or more witnesses...”

C. Look for Patterns. Repeat behavior or reactions, more than one

    complaint about the same things often indicates there is something that needs to be dealt with.

D. Eliminate the Controllable Contributing Factors.  Fatigue,

    substance abuse....

E. Examine Your Views, Focus and Perspectives, Values, Motives that justify your anger.

 “...hope differed makes the heart sick.” Proverbs, Romans 12:2

F. Acknowledge: 1- It is a fault, harmful, even possibly sinful.

                             2 - It can be controlled “He that has no rule over

                                  his own spirit....”

                             3 - God leaves us no excuses for wrong behavior,

                                  it is our responsibility. “But now you also put off all these: anger, wrath...” 

                                  Colossians 3:8       

                            4 - It can be changed. “All things are possible with

                                  God” Matt: 18:26 “I can do all things through

  Christ Who strengthens me.” Phillip.4"13

                                  “All things are possible to him who believes.

                                   Mark 9:23, Matthew 6:7-8

                               5– Our enterprise may not be your lot or God’s will. Ecc.9:11, John 3:27,

    Romans 9:16  Realizing and accepting certain facts can be a great stress relief. John 8:32

Before we tackle any issues we must realize that opportunities to get angry or at least annoyed will come, and sometimes anger is a justifiable reaction even though we may not be able to say so ourselves let alone justify ourselves. Psalm 106:32-33. As we have stated before, God acknowledged Moses’ anger and the valid reason for it, but it cost him entrance into the promise land.

Then what do we do? A. Repent of the assumed right to get angry

                                        as a solution. Remember, “...anger rests in

                                        in the bosom of fools.” Ecc. 7:9.

                                           STOP - CONSIDER -DO SO NOW!

                                    B. Ask the Lord for Wisdom and Understanding.

                                         Proverbs 2:1-11.  James 1:5

                                         “He that is slow to wrath is of great

                                          understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit

                                          exalts folly.” Prov. 14:29.

                                  C. Humble yourself! Pride’s great champion is anger.

STOP - CONSIDER- DO REGULARLY

 

 D. Look at the scriptures for our perimeters. “Be angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4;26-27

 

There is a justifiable anger but it had better be so in God’s eyes. As with most anger we tend to feel justified, but God’s view is likely to be far less accepting in many cases. ”But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.” Matthew 5:22. This is no light matter. In the previous verse the Lord brings forward the law for killing which will bring the judgment. Anger is destructive, and to use or allow it, like any weapon, we had better have a good reason.

As Ephesians 4 indicates, we can be angry and not sin. If you can be angry without hurting someone physically, or verbally, or emotionally, and it we can shut it down quickly and not harbor it, then release the anger carefully and with the intent of bringing about the right that God alone wants. Any other use of the anger turns into the devil’s playground and God will hold you responsible for the damage.

                      STOP - REFLECT - REPENT - CONSIDER NEEDED HEALINGS

 

 In the areas of frustrations and aggravations, the issues are often disappointments due to failure and or let downs, annoyances. The worst part about them is that they are often blamed on the wrong causes and wrath is unleashed on the undeserving.                                   

 “A man’s own folly ruins his life, yet his heart rages against the Lord.” Proverbs 19:3

Frustrations come from disappointed expectations, failure, sometimes understandable and justified. Other times they are the product of:

                 - Poor judgment Prov.19:3, Prov. 19;2

                 - improper preparation Prov. 15:32

             - lack of proper effort. Prov. 15:19

             - poor counsel or the lack thereof: Prov.14:15-16, 15:22

             - unreasonable goals - again poor judgment and often driven

               by pride

            - Letdowns - unreasonable expectations on self, others, things

                  because of: incorrect information, presumption, assumption, pride, flattery, unreasonable 

                  authorities, lack of self-discipline,

                  driven behavior or habits. =Your child can’t perform to your

                 expectations and you get angry. = You are the team coach

                 and you think your team is useless. - Your child fails to

                 perform the way you think he/she should and you get angry...

               - wrong or impure motives = the project fails, or you don’t

                  get any acclamation, or it succeeds and another does. James 4:1-3

               - exaggerated values on things.= A child breaks a valuable by

                  accident and you blow up and lash out.

               - Doing things that you hate (here you must step out if you can or

                  try and change your attitude, or find that place of help and

                  refreshing in God every day if you cannot step out. “He Is An

                  Ever Present Help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1.

 - Failure, especially repeated, where there should be success.

                “He holds victory in store for the upright. ”Proverbs 2:7

                “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”

                Philippians 4"13. There are keys to victory and reasons for lack

                of success, we just have to find them and or figure them out

               Anger over failure when we know we should succeed may be an indication of carelessness or character weakness, which is merely being covered by pride. If you are truly open, God will show you.

               

All these are great recipes for failure, disappointments, disaster, and great breeding grounds for anger. The end product all too often is one lashing out at what, or worst, who is the apparent blame.

“For the Lord gives wisdom, and form His mouth comes knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a Shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones.” Proverbs 2:6-8 NIV

“When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him” Proverbs 16:7

 

Failures and disappointments are not a reason to loose one’s temper, but rather need to be looked into objectively and open heartedly in humility.

The findings may be shocking and revolutionary and may in fact lead to future success if applied rightly.

A HELP - We must be careful in what we believe, think, or perceive is a failure. Success and blessings can come in misleading packages.

 

WHAT DO WE DO!? - START REVISING YOUR PROCESSES;

CLEAN UP YOUR MOTIVES, ATTITUDES, JUDGMENTS, BEHAVIORS, WAYS - EASIER SAID THAN DONE, BUT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD THROUGH FAITH IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.  AN OLD PROVERB SAYS A THOUSAND MILE JOURNEY BEGINS WITH THE FIRST STEP AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS- REGARDLESS OF ALL THE REGULAR FAILURES.

“FOR A JUST MAN FALLS SEVEN TIMES, AND RISES UP AGAIN.” PROVERBS 24:16 . KEEP FOLLOWING THE LORD JESUS CHRIST IN TRYING TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT IN HIS SIGHT, FOLLOWING HIS WORD AND THE GUIDANCE OF HIS HOLY SPIRIT. ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER GREAT RESOURCES THAT HE HAS SO RICHLY GIVEN US INCLUDING, PEOPLES’ ADVISE (EXODUS 18) AND OTHER NATURAL RESOURCES - 2 PETER 1:3, EVERYTHING IS THERE AT OUR DISPOSAL, WE JUST NEED TO MINE IT OUT = MUCH WORK, EFFORT, AND PATIENT PERSEVERANCE ARE REQUIRED.

 

If in the process of your searches you realize that you have attacked others and hurt others you must set yourself on the course of reconciliation and apologies. “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up.” James 4:10

 

 HELPS - Remember anger attacks an assumed or a perceived wrong. We often assume the worst of peoples actions and motives resulting in our anger. “Judge not lest you be judged.” Matthew 7:1  Or we simply just get mad at an action or failure if not performed properly.

Before God Almighty me must humble ourselves and commit ourselves to our God-given duty to serve one another in love. This means that when someone fails us at something, our duty is to love and serve them by forgiving, lifting them up, and helping them to succeed. Now an authority is sometimes required to reprove and discipline, but best done with a cool head. When we are more important and our goals, interests, and desires are our priorities, then we attack when someone causes them to fail. If our goal is to, in the fear and love of God, to serve and love others, then helping them to succeed will take the precedence in our views, our actions or reactions, this is especially critical with children. Understanding and kindness will replace our judgment and anger. Then the knowledge we then get will help us make great and wonderful changes.

“Love is patient, love is kind,...love thinks no evil, bears all things, believes all things,...” 1Cor. 13

STOP - CONSIDER -TAKE IT TO THE LORD AND KEEP DOING SO - CRY OUT TO HIM FOR HELP!!!