4 -Biblical Anger Management - Petty Anger

 

                      CONCERN B- GET ANGRY EASILY AND OVER LITTLE

                            THINGS – EASILY ANNOYED OR AGITATED-IRRITABLE

“He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalts folly.” “ He that is soon angry deals foolishly:” Proverbs 14:29,17

 

To FRET- Hebrew: charah: to glow or grow warm; to blaze up,

                 of anger, zeal, jealousy: be angry, burn, be displeased,

                 x earnestly, fret self, grieve, be (wax) hot, be incensed, kindle,

                 x very, be wroth.

Please note- God in no way condones any behavior where we lose control of our actions and do wrong. IN NO WAY justify yourself or make excuses- that will secure your failure. He does however, “heal the broken in hearted and binds up their wounds”, graciously provide all the help necessary to change, improve and get victory. Run to Him in repentance and faith and receive all that He has for you. He loves you!

 

Is this you? Do you want to deal with it? Do you recognize this behavior in yourself?

 

“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it only leads to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.” Psalm 37:8-9

“An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.” Proverbs 29:22

A-ACTION STEP #1- Confess your behavior to God and ask Him to   

                             forgive you and help you change! Stay with it until

                             you mean it with all your heart. “Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and you will find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. And I will be found of you,’ declares the Lord, ‘ and will bring you back from captivity. Jeremiah 29:12-14

DISARM YOURSELF

                           2- Surrender/repent of your assumed right to:

a.       get angry as you please and vent it.

b.      attack and punish straighten out what or who you don’t                         like or agree with, or does not do what you want, the way you want, etc…

                           STOP! – CONSIDER #1,#2 DO SO NOW!!!

 

  BEWARE OF ANY INFLUENCES THAT JUSTIFY ANY UNCHRIST-LIKE BEHAVIOR- THESE ARE YOUR ADVERSARIES

                           3. Repent of allowing yourself to indulge in the luxury

   of petty displays of anger like screaming and yelling,

  cursing, pouting, throwing things, hitting walls, etc…

   CONSIDER AND DO SO NOW!

1.      Repent of harboring grudges and offenses.

FORGIVE! Bitterness must be dealt with right away.

DO SO NOW!

2.       Repent of suspicions and thinking evil(believing the

worst of people). “Love thinks no evil.” 1 Cor. 13:5

DETERMINE TO DO SO NOW!

3.      Repent of allowing yourself to nurture petty distastes,

                                      agitations, resentments. These too are your true enemies.

Reduce its importance in your mind – Matthew 5:22

Ask the Lord to show you How to see from His perspective each situation and to help you to respond accordingly. He can help you, change you, and heal you. STOP-CONSIDER- DO SO NOW!

4.      Determine to avoid people, places, things that promote

trouble. “Avoid every kind of evil.” 1 Thessalonians 5:22

                           3- HUMBLE YOURSELF by deciding now to:

                                     a. listen with all your heart to understand and see the other’s point of view.

                                     b. let others have their way (you last).

                                  c. be correctable.

                                     d. Be wrong, and wronged in your eyes (this means that you will have to trust the

                                               Lord for your justice)

                                               Matthew 5:38-42, 1 Corinthians 6:7-8, 1 Peter 2:19-24.

 

SUMMARY: CEASE TO ACCUSE = TO CHARGE WITH GUILT; CANCEL ALL DEBTS, AND KEEP YOURSELF UNDER CONTROL. (Matthew 6:12, James 5:9, 1 Peter 1:13) These are not suggestions, these are God’s commands.      

“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” Proverbs 25:28

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19

      STOP!- CONSIDER- DECIDE- TAKE IT BEFORE THE LORD

LIFE RULE! Before assuming any rights, our number one duty is to “fear God and keep His commands.” Ecclesiastes 12:13

This does not mean that any time we get angry at anyone or anything that annoys, troubles, or opposes us, we are wrong; however, how we may deal with them or it may be. God makes this our primary responsibility, “HE THAT IS SOON ANGRY DEALS FOOLISHLY.” Proverbs 14:17

Ruling our spirit is OUR RESPONSIBILITY!

A.     GOING AFTER THE ROOT

Likely Root Causes: a. Physical problems, incl. fatigue and illness

                                 b. Learned and undisciplined behavior

                                 c. Alcohol and drugs

                                 d. Evil spirits.

                                 f. Stress/pressures

                                 g. Fears and insecurities

                                             h. Pent-up frustrations and resentments.

                                             I. Unresolved issues, bitterness, guilt                                        

                                             j. Pride                                                

                                             k. Exaggerated or misplaced values

           L. Any combination

      M.    HURTS AND ABUSE. These will require the individual to forgive,

                 deliverance... and especially healing from Jesus.     

          Honestly and openly, identify all the root causes and confront each.

Trust the Lord to: a. change you- He will.

b.     help you

c.      fight for you-Psalm 3

    An irritant is something that it is not supposed to be or not wanted. An irritant in the body may fester, itch, hurt, get infected. It is the same with the soul.  Identify it, qualify it  - is it just a personal distaste or…? It might be too big for you, but not for Jesus. “…all things are possible for the one who believes.” Mark 9:23 WE CANNOT LET IRRITANTS RULE OUR LIVES! WE HAVE THE CONTROLS – Determine when, where, why it became an irritant, and confront it in Truth.

    Deal with it accordingly!                                           

                  2.  Further disarm yourself by diffusing your pride and

                       insecurities by surrendering the assumed necessity to

                      defend or justify yourself. Job 9:20 Follow Jesus example

                       of turning the other cheek Matthew 5:39, and not retaliating. 1 Peter 2:20-23. (This will    make it easier for God and people to get through to us, and we may even learn something).

CHALLENGE YOUR THINKING

“A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” Proverbs 14:29

 

DETERMINE IF YOUR ANGER IS JUSTIFIABLE, ON WHAT BASIS, TO WHAT EXTENT, AND HOW DOES GOD’S WORD TEACH YOU TO RESOLVE IT.

1.      Ask yourself some questions like; What is it that you are

really angry about, what is the real issue? What and why are you attacking and really trying to defend? What does God’s Word say about this? You must examine this especially if the problem is re-occurring, constant, and or habitual. The truth will uncover. Are you bitter or resentful about something? What has not been taken care of yet, being interfered with?

2.      Question your character development, your ways, and thinking. This may help give you insight and even expose things that need to be changed or be adjusted. For example; do you like to fight? Do you feel you have to be right, have it your way? Do you usually feel unjustly treated/persecuted? Do certain sights, sounds, feelings (vibes) easily trigger you off? You feel everything is important?

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not (work the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

3.      Exercise yourself in God’s commandment to walk in love.

“Love is patient, love is kind, … love is not easily angered,… Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

1 Corinthians 13:

                        4.      Are your expectations and values out of proportion – therefore anger is your first response when disappointed or offended?

 

NOTE- We must learn to constantly scrutinize our thoughts, attitudes, motives, feelings, behaviors, interests and desires, words etc. The Bible teaches us that we are not only to govern and judge these, but that they will indicate where we are at. 1 Corinthians 11:31

“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him,…” Matthew 12:34-35

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” James 4:1

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

 “The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissentions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like.) I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Holy Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:19-23

 

 Therefore, when we see any of these or other such behaviors and attitudes, regardless of how justified we may feel, we must repent immediately and get right with God and others or we can be sure trouble is ahead.

                  1-Examine the list of likely causes for you losing control

                                      and deal with each thoroughly and patiently.

                                      DO SO NOW AND START.

                 

NOTE- You can be assured that this will not be a mere academic procedure that can be done in a program. Serious faith, humility, persistent commitment over perhaps a considerable length of time may be required in order to walk through the necessary changes - as you will see. You must be absolutely willing to confront these honestly, thoroughly, and even sternly lest they remain sheltered and spring up like a weed every opportunity they are fed.

EXPECT CHANGE IF YOU DO THESE WITH ALL YOUR HEART

BY FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST THROUGH WHOM WE HAVE ACCESS TO THE THRONE OF GRACE. Hebrews 4:16

 

BE ALERT! Anger is often a screen for pride, ulterior motives, insecurities and fears, hidden agendas, and even guilt Proverbs 21:24, Revelation 12:12,17. These can be recognized by or indicated by constant justifying (self), accusing and criticizing (constantly on the attack), unwillingness to reconcile, reason, release. Numbers 16

 

    REASONS FOR FAILURE

1-      Not wholehearted in your efforts-perhaps you don’t

feel that your problem is that serious.

2-      You love your sin.

3-      You are not in full agreement with some of the changes you have to make.

4-      The price to change was higher than you were prepared to pay, or the work was harder, so you did not finish. You gave up

5-      There is a root problem that you have not uncovered.

This can be apparent when one tries wholeheartedly and does everything one knows to do, and still no success. (Ask the Lord to show you)

 6-  You are trusting in your own strengths and abilities rather than the Lord.

7- Is there a past wound that needs to be healed???

                                STOP- CONSIDER.... QUIT??? OR TRY AGAIN???

DECIDE  - HOW SERIOUS DO YOU FEEL YOUR

PROBLEM IS BEFORE GOD AND PEOPLE?

TO SUM IT UP: You have given anger a priority right whenever hurt, opposed, stressed…That assumed right must be repented of!!! AND-OR – You have a serious hurt that needs to be healed- Take it to JESUS