6- Biblical Anger Management - Constant Anger

 

                             

                                                                   

      1-CONSTANT ANGER   2- AND ANGRY MAN 3-THE RIGHTEOUS CRUSADER

 

“He that is soon angry deals foolishly:” “An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgressions.” Proverbs 14:17, 29”22

 

Characteristics:- Always feel angry, easily set off and agitated/explosive, ready to strike out/hostile physically or verbally, contentious, yet all the while feeling strongly justified. Your thoughts are often filled with contentions, debates, strife, and repetitive issues.

 

NOTE !!! God’s testimony against this behavior is serious! Making excuses and justifying

                ourselves is nothing short of foolishness and rebellion; however, He is gracious, loving, and

                  ever ready to help us get on track. Let us move ahead.

                                                              # 1–Constant Anger-

           Unresolved issue(s) and hurts– unmanageable circumstances-losing ground/battle

 Constant Anger will differ from the Angry Man in that it may not be the result of learned or undisciplined behavior but rather the breaking down or gradual wearing down under the relentless pressures of stress, fatigue, frustration, hurts, anxieties, disappointments, resulting in attacking or striking out reactions.

   We are able to maintain our composure to varying degrees depending on our character development etc. for certain lengths of time; however, regardless of whom we may imagine ourselves to be we all have a breaking point under certain types of pressure and circumstances. Again this does not warrant excuses for misbehavior nor can we feel justified about them either. Furthermore, unless we can recognize the symptoms, pride will often set in and blind us to the seriousness of the situation and behavior. Consequently, in the pursuit of our objective(s) we will maintain determination, become increasingly aggressive and intolerant, and all the while we feel justified. Since it may have developed over a period of time, we may not even realize that there is a problem and even think that we are merely doing what we feel is necessary to attain our goals.  

 Constant anger can also be an indication of very deep and unattended emotional wounds, physical problems, anxieties, frustration, stress and fatigue, demonic activity, alcoholism and drugs, and any possible combination. The most outstanding of these are unresolved offenses, hurts, frustrations, and resentments. Wounds and offenses may very well be justified, but how we handle them afterwards may draw us into the sin of bitterness and hate, consequently, constant anger. “Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; and make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled: ”Hebrews 12:12-15  

 Uncalculated circumstances can expose us to incredible pressure. The outcome is likely predictable.

 Another related situation is trying to maintain while fighting a losing battle. In our mind we may feel we can or will win, but all the data indicates that the battle is going the opposite way. Again we may try and reason otherwise, yet our patience and tolerance is wearing progressively thin. This does not necessarily mean that we will lose, but we need to carefully determine what we must do to  come through successfully. Whatever the cause it/they must be identified and dealt with immediately or you are heading for serious trouble!

1^st PREPARATIONS- a. You must acknowledge your situation and behaviour and take

                               the actions and steps required to END IT. Pay the price!

                                    b. you must be ready and willing to face correction and

                              make changes that may hurt initially, seem costly to your focus, addenda,

                              seem time consuming – this requires humility and patience.

                                   c. you must be ready and willing to face certain things and

                              yourself that may be hard to do. (Jesus is there with you)

                              This requires faith and humility.

STOP- CONSIDER- DECIDE- PRAY (TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU NEED)

 

NOTE: Our thinking process can be our greatest enemy. “He that is slow to anger is of great understanding.” If our thinking process leads us to bitter and resentful conclusions we are not thinking in the terms of God’s Holy Word. Our attitude and behaviors are to be Christ-like. When we fall short we know that we must make a change somewhere. “But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descends not from above, but is earthy, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. James 3:14-16 “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21, “Love thinks no evil (keeps no record of wrongs NIV) 1 Corinthians 13:5, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23. Again, this does not mean that what has happened is not real or we are not justified to be hurt, but God wants our conclusions to allow His healing and life to come in. This may mean confronting and speaking the truth in love. Matthew 18, Ephesians 4:15.

 

ALERT!!!  SERIOUS DANGER SYMPTOMS  

                                           1 - Constant bombardment of angry and resentful thoughts

                                           2 – Repetitive memories of a bitter experience(s)

                                           3 – Unable to see good or find the love of God for certain people

                                                  or individuals

                                           4 – Unable to resolve past experiences, forgive and release

       These are evil and demonically inspired and you must repent and break all agreement with them before you endanger yourself and others. God loves you and He is for you!

                      STOP –EXAMINE- CONSIDER – DO SO NOW!!!

ACTION STEP#1- TAKE IT TO JESUS RIGHT NOW and ask Him to help

                  you, teach you, and forgive you if necessary and heal you.

       DO SO NOW!!!

“An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.” Proverbs 29:22

STEP#2- DISARM YOURSELF

                              -Yield up wholeheartedly to the Lord the need/desire/assumed

                             right to defend, justify, avenge yourself. (Psalm 37:1-10)

          - Repent of the assumed right to attack, straighten out and punish people (revenge).  This is wickedness. Romans 12:17-19, James 4:1-4

                     NOTE: If you are able to do this fully and carefully before the Lord,

                             you may likely have the sensation of feeling very insecure and

                             defenceless, perhaps even helpless. Here you may look at

                             yourself and all your issues without any facades and hear the

                             the Lord more clearly and understand His Word. This is full

                             submission to Him. “Father,…yet not what I will, but what

                            You will.” “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see

                            God.” Matthew 26:39, 5:8.

                      NOTE: This should only be done in the Lord Who is our Defence.

                                   In Him and only in Him are we completely safe. Isaiah 41:10

.

STOP- CONSIDER- DECIDE- PRAY (TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU NEED)

 

ACTION STEP#3 CLEANSE YOURSELF- REPENT OF ALL AND ANY

                             ALCOHOL/ DRUG USE, WITCHCRAFY, IMMORALITY,

                             AND ANY ENTERTAINMENT THAT FEATURES THESE,

                            VIOLENCE AND THE LIKE. –These things are true enemies of

                            the soul. They feed and even help cause bad behavior, blind

                            judgment, inhibit self-control, live and feed on self-centered and sensual behavior

                            which are, as the Bible calls, “the works of the flesh.”

                           

NOTE!!! – If you are actively involved in these, not only will you unlikely be 

                  unable to resolve a problem of constant anger, but these very well may

                  be a major cause. Cleanse yourself of these before God and you will

                  find that you have solved a good portion of your problem already.

ACTION STEP # 4- Examine your health; physical, emotional, and spiritual.

                            Sometimes our problems can be rooted or enlarged by our

                            health in any of or any combination of these areas. Pride,

                            ignorance, presumption, carelessness can get in the way of us

                            tending to these very important aspects of our lives. Then we

                           can find ourselves struggling with things that are way out of

                           proportion.

ACTION STEP #5- Identify the problem(s) and determine the core issue(s)

                            (This can be your second or third step, just don’t shortcut).

                             Sometimes the real issues or problems are concealed, obstructed,

                             complicated because of time, perspectives, attitudes,

                             physical conditions…, therefore time, truth, patience, and

                             perseverance are likely needed to uproot and eliminate the

                             problem. We therefore need the guidance of the Holy Spirit!

                             In other words, what you think is the real problem

                             or issue may not be at all and consequently always angry,

                             frustrated or bitter over something(s) very non-issue. Pride

                             eagerly shores these up.

                               Why are you constantly angry (recognized by constant internal

                              debating, strife, self-justifying, anger and attacking…)?

                             If readily apparent it is time to confront

                             all the issues squarely, thoroughly, and truthfully. We must

                             quit pampering our sin and grab hold of the grace of God and

                             choose life. Dear friends, if we are feeling constantly angry and

                             hostile, we are likely walking in deception even if there may 

                             have been valid issues. Unresolved issues and unattended

                             wounds will fester into a most horrible attitude and emotional state unless

                             thoroughly dealt with. a. Have you forgiven them? This means

                             completely cancelling their debt from your heart. Matt. 18:35

                             As far as you are concerned, they are no longer guilty.

                             Consequently you will no longer accuse or speak evil of them.

                                                                  b. Have you confronted them, if possible,

                             and practical? Matt.1815-17.

                                                                  c. Have you fully and truly acknowledged

                            your own guilt in the matter? In conflicts it is rare that one party is guiltless.

                                                                  d. Have you received your healing yet?

                           Dear loved one, God loves you so much and Jesus came to cleanse and heal us.

                           We must go to Him for it.

                          What is your real issue? Our hearts are, “deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” Jeremiah 17:9. Our issues are often clouded over in self-justification and self-righteousness, all the while we have convinced ourselves that our cause is just and the other is guilty and wrong. Nevertheless the works of the flesh is (Galatians 5:19-21} testifying against us because our cause is perhaps motivated by a judgment or accusation we may have made or believed against the other person or party and consequently our attitude, view, or treatment of them is un-Christ-like. “ Love thinks no evil… Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things” 1 Corinthians 13. If we fear God and are truly willing to repent He will reveal it to us so we can repent and be free.

         STOP- CONSIDER- EXAMINE-JUDGE YOURSELF AND ACT ACCORDINGLY –

  Challenge your thinking, perspectives, understanding, what you believe to be right. What is feeding

your anger? If you can look at these objectively you may find you have enslaved yourself. If you are the type of person who demands perfection or has to have things in a certain order or certain way, you may very likely struggle with being easily or constantly angry. You will no doubt have many frustrations and disappointments.

              Helpful Hints: - Learn to accept one another Romans 14:1

- Practice/live the patience of love 1 Corinthians 13

- Release debts – what you figure people owe Matthew 6:12

- Be thankful – Does amazing things for our outlook of life. Ephesians 5:20

- Develop a Godly view of your own weaknesses and downfalls - only God is Good

- Learn from the Bible how Jesus deals with wrong, evil, people’s folly Romans 2:4

 

NOTE- If issues and hurts are left unattended they will fester and grow. The devil will gladly help your grief/hurt/offence along with the intent to destroy you and as many people that he can through it. He will bring up the same issues, memories, feelings again and again to intensify your pain and anger until they are driving you. The responsibility is yours, and God lovingly holds you accountable. You can take them to the cross of Christ or you can let them harm yourself and others. THE DECEPTION IS THAT YOU START TO BELIEVE THE WORST ABOUT WHOEVER YOU HOLD GUILTY EVEN IF THERE IS TRUTH TO IT, AND THAT YOU FEEL JUSTIFIED ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE AND EVEN YOUR BEHAVIOR – REGARDLESS OF HOW VILE AND UNCHRIST-LIKE IT IS.

 

 “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control…The acts of the flesh are obvious: hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage,…dissensions, factions…” Galatians 5:22-23, 19-20.

    “But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.”

1John 2:11

As these scriptures declare, as long as there is hate, un-forgiveness, self-justification, you will never see clearly and will remain in that state, and feel completely justified.

 

It’s over and done! Do you want to keep it alive, or let it die? It is time. Are you ready to forgive, repent, bear responsibility, to change, be healed? If you keep blaming, you will always be angry.

 

IDENTIFYING AND CONFRONTING UNMANAGEABLE RESPONSIBILITIES AND LOOSING BATTLES

“Come unto Me all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly of heart, and you shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.

“I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...A time to get (search), and a time to lose (to give up)…” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

“Because to every purpose there is time and judgement (procedure), therefore the misery of man is great upon him.” Ecclesiastes 8:6

“Every purpose is established by counsel; and with good advice make war.” Proverbs 20:18

“For by wise counsel you shall make your war; and in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” Ecc.24:6

“The meek will He guide in judgement, and the meek will He teach His way.” Psalm 25:9

“But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descends not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where there is envying and strife, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.” James 3:14-18      PSALM 37:1-9

 

SYMPTOMS            

 When we are deeply involved in something it is more difficult to judge ourselves objectively, which is why athletes have coaches. Therefore the instruction in Scripture strongly advises us to get wise counsel especially when we are engaged in something that will produce some type of conflict (which applies to any struggle in life).

You are currently involved in a project, duty, goal/objective which has the primary occupancy of your life. You have been laboring at it wholeheartedly and relentlessly but do not seem to be gaining ground, or your burden seems unending and unmanageable. Your patience and tolerance is wearing thin, but your sense of duty or determination has not lessened.

 

            ACTION STEP 1- OBSERVE/JUDGE YOURSELF “But let a man examine himself…for if we judge ourselves, we should not be judged.”1 Cor. 1128,31

                                                     Do you notice your thoughts often angry towards anyone, anything?

                                                    “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

                                                     Do you notice that you find yourself attacking people, things?

                                                     Do you see the fruit of the Holy Spirit in your behaviour or the    works of the flesh? Galatians 5:19-23

                                                     Are you out of balance?

                                                     Have you heard complaints about your attitude or do people avoid you? Are you too busy to take regular time off? Are you thoughts and conversations mostly around your projects/goals/ambitions/interests/duties?  Are you finding yourself unable to take time and genuine interest in the affairs and interests of others, especially your family and friends?

                                                     Philippians 2:4

                                                     Simply, how are things going? Are you fatigued? Are you winning?

                                                     Are things going well, are your goals being achieved? …

                                     STOP – CONSIDER- EXAMINE

2-                  GETTING YOUR BEARING – Where are you in regards to your God-given duties/responsibilities?

Where are you in regards to your personal goals, objectives and values?

Are these goals in line with the Scriptures and are they directed by
God’s Holy Spirit?

In life we must constantly access our bearing the way a ship needs to do on the open sea to ensure that we have not deviated off course ever so slightly. Assumptions and wrong directions are critical and the causes of many shipwrecks. 11 Timothy 2:15-18

STOP – CONSIDER-CALCULATE

3-                  HUMBLE YOURSELF – We cannot see clearly nor learn anything until we humble ourselves, face criticism, be corrected. Proverbs 9:8

To humble ourselves also includes that we must cease to defend and

justify ourselves, be challenged, be wrong even in our own eyes.

 

STOP-DO SO NOW WITH ALL YOUR HEART- ask the Lord to forgive you and help you.             

4-                  EXECUTE JUDGEMENT IN YOUR LIFE- Determine where you need to be and what changes that you need to make to get there. You need the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the clarification of the Holy Scriptures, and perhaps some good godly counsel and criticism.

 

 When we do not see the fruit of the Holy Spirit working in our lives but rather the works of the flesh we know that we are off course and that changes need to be made, or we can be sure that disaster of some kind will come. “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It shall be health to your navel and marrow to your bones.” Proverbs 3:7-8

STOP-EXAMINE-BEGIN

5-Scrutinize your objectives, assumed duties/responsibilities, ambitions in the light of God’s Holy Word. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

      Have we learned from Him? Have you been following the godly   examples that we see in Scripture as well as those in your world?

                                               Remember: “…for the battle is not yours, but God’s.” 2 Chron. 20:14

                                                       “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain that build

                                                  it.” Psalm 127:1

SUMMARY: If you are fighting a seemingly losing Battle, or trying to stay on top of an unmanageable situation it is time to question:

1.         Have you deviated from the original course?

2.         Are your method’s or thinking inappropriate for the task?

3.         Is it time to quit?

4.         Have you stepped out of line and attempted what was not your, or taken on too much?

5.         Are your motives incorrect?

 

                                              When we grasp these, our burden is truly lightened, stress is

                                               minimized, and duty can actually become a joy. We just do our best and

                                               the results are up to Him. Praise His Holy Name!!! You can actually

                                               bear fruit to His glory and people will actually feel comfortable around

                                                        you.

STOP-CONSIDER-PONDER THOROUGHLY-You need to accurately evaluate where you are at in order to determine where you need to be and what you need to do to get there.

CONSTANT ANGER MUST BE ARRESTED – EVEN JUST FOR YOUR SAKE!